Note: For those of you reading this via e-mail or RSS feed, you’ll have to go to the site to see the video. It’s 60 seconds from a show that was cancelled way too soon - enjoy.
I figure I’d take a break from politics today. At some point in your life you’ll have to deal with an engineer (in addition to reading this blog) - this week’s Friday Five will help you deal with them.
Five:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Four:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for
15 minutes!”
The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!”
The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word
with him.”
“Hi George! Say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow,
aren’t they?”
The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind fire-fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime.”
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight.”
The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”
The engineer said, “Why don’t these guys play at night?”
Three:
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke
up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want.”
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m beautiful
princess, and that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girl,
but a talking frog, now that’s cool”
Two:
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer - you’re in the wrong place.”
So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”
Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake - he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”
Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”
God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”
One:
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
See y’all Monday.
Subscribe to RSS Feed
Subscribe via E-mail
